Living Autopsy

Paradise Lost!


Yo people, Living Autopsy here, firing off an update from the DN tour bunker on Bikini Atoll. You may be asking, “Bikini Atoll? Where’s that? What the hell are you talking about, LA?”

I’ll explain! A couple days ago ST and I picked up Z in the port city of Da Nang, then sped south by southeast in our ValuBoat to the Marshall Islands in the Pacific. This will be the first stop on our tour.

An atoll is like an island, but different. There’s a lot of atolls here in the Marshall Islands territory. We’ve chosen to stage our concert on Bikini Atoll, home of the worst radiological disaster in US history. Some quick info: back in 1954, the US was testing new thermonuclear weapons less than a mile from here – blowing up H bombs. People in charge figured the radioactive mushroom clouds would be blown out to sea. Unfortunately, they were blown in to the islands. And there were native people living on these islands, by the way – so ships were sent in and they got those people the hell out of here.

Almost 50 years later, this atoll and a few others are still contaminated, so there aren’t too many people around. A lame place for a rap concert, some might say. Well, check this out –

For this concert, DN will be making yet another ambiguous political statement by building up a huge speaker stack, consisting of a couple thousand units. On the night of our concert, we’ll crank up this sound system and play a special bass track prepared for us by DJ Chuck Master Funk. The incredibly low bass blast we unleash will represent the sound of an H bomb detonation, and it’ll be heard and felt in a several hundred mile radius.

After that, we’ll crawl out of our soundproofed DN bunker on the island, sportin’ some groovy designer radiation suits, and we’ll probably do a new rendition of “Combustion” just for the hell of it.

Then it’s time to pack up and head off to the next stop!

So, stay tuned for this amazing event – it’s gonna be the bomb! (groan, sorry — couldn’t hold back that pun.) Z’s currently trying to hijack a satellite so this show can be beamed over the web, and Stormtroopa’s hoisting the very last speaker high atop the stack as we speak …

- Living Autopsy!


Monday, April 29, 2002
posted by damn nation at 3:16 PM




z money
SOS..scoop my ass up!


I managed to wander back to the shore i washed up on and found my seat cushion that also doubled as a flotation device. I made a paddle outta some bamboo that i had to wrestle away from a panda bear. I got on that cushion and proceeded to paddle my way out to sea. After about a week, I woke up with a beard lookin' like Moses and looked around. The place was full of naked asian bitches and all-you-can eat buffet anytime. It's pretty nice here; they seem to jock rapper guys and do whatever i tell em. As much as i regret having to leave here, we gotta get this shit started, so come scoop me up and let's get ramblin'! They seem to have sophisticated tracking equipment and GPS systems here for some reason; forwarding coordinates now.


Sunday, April 28, 2002
posted by damn nation at 2:28 AM




Living Autopsy
Z !!! Read this message ASAP!!!

Z, I can’t tell you how incredibly happy Stormtroopa and I are to see that you’re alive and well! We’re also really pissed off at you – you’ve delayed the start of our first epic globe-spanning tour, you clumsy bastard!

Let me fill you and the fans in on the details – we were soaring through the tropic skies, riding comfortably in our ValuJet at a cushy altitude. Z had been struggling to open a bag of salty peanuts for ten minutes, and the bag exploded, nuts flying everywhere. I remember this detail because a split-second after that, the emergency door rattled and flew out of its frame!

Unfortunately for you Z, you were sitting right beside that door! A second later you were gone, your chair and everything had been sucked out of the gaping hole. Stormtroopa and I were hanging on for dear life to our seats, yelling at each other about what shitty luck we have. First that tragic blimp accident, and now this…

We’d been heading east across Asia, on our way to the first tour date, so it makes sense that you apparently landed somewhere in Vietnam. Meanwhile, our ValuJet made a quick stopover on a southern Philippines island, where we hung out with some really funny American hostages and their captors. ST shared a few bomb recipes, and I placed a call with the local authorities, asking them to search the area for you.

After a couple weeks of searching the seas and shores of the local lands, no trace of Z was found, and we were forced to change our plans for the Cobra Island tour.

Z, I hope you don’t mind that we were going to replace you with an orangutan we bought black market in Papua New Guinea. But since you’re alive, we booted the ape.

So, let ST and me know where we can pick you up! We’re way behind schedule now, and we’ve got to get over to the Marshall Islands for our first big concert. More on that soon….


Wednesday, April 24, 2002
posted by damn nation at 10:30 AM





Crazy D
DEVIOUS SEZ "DN, I PRESENT TO YOU....."


         _ __________ _              _ __________________ _
          ____\   /_________________ ____\          __ __    >> >>   D  A  M  N
 ......../  _ |   |  __   ____     \__/  |     >    /dvs                .
 ::     /____________/_____|\_______|    |    /____/
 ::         ::      =============//_____________\\========>>     ::    ::
 ::.........::...................................................::....::.....
      ::    ::   http://WWW.DAMNNATION.COM      ____             ::         ::
      ::    ::    ____________|_    ___________<___/      _|_____::____     ::
      .     ::     \          |______|__   ____|___________|          /.....::
             _ ___//     >    |  __        |   |      ___  |    <     \\
     << <<     __ ______/     ___/_____|\__________|________     \_____\
 N  A  T  I  O  N   /_________|       <<===================|_________\========

this wonderful piece of artwork that i did 2 1/2 years ago for you! and now, i get my props, girls, IM me on AIM cause I am lame. deviousvr6 is my name. ha ha, my 3 seconds of fame. stolen hax0r!


posted by damn nation at 2:26 AM




Z Daddy
COBRA ISLAND WORLD DOMINATION UPDATE

After finally escaping from a tiger hole in 'Nam, i'm tryin to find my Damn Nation cohorts and rejoin the tour. Since I have no idea how I got here, or what day it is, so it's gonna be a bitch to find em; what better place to start than the internet! I'm in the city of Thanh Pho Ho Chi Minh in the Dong Nam Bo administrative district. Chillin' inside of Charlie's Đă Nâng VietNET Cafe on a 1200bps connection, you'd think they'd have better shit since it's made out here, oh well. Fuck it, gotta find the DN crew and get the hell outta Dodge Bang Song Cuu Long.


Tuesday, April 23, 2002
posted by damn nation at 6:07 PM

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